Adam Has a Podcast Episode 37; God's name is a joke

So um welcome back. I had a grand realization today that um God's name is actually a joke. If you go back and you and you look up all the different kinds of names that he's had in the past, one of them, which they call his true name in the Covenant, Yahweh yo, what do we say nowadays when we got some shit that we don't believe in? No fucking way, dude yeah way. It's a fucking joke. It was a joke written for the future in the past. By God itself. So I've been having a lot of transcendental awaking things lately. I think that was one of 'em. Damn, Ralph Waldo Emerson. Damn you. You transcendental movement planting seeds in my mind for future events.. Yeah, that was really just one of the funnier ones. Earlier today, I had a more like... personal one. I guess that's what this podcast is mostly about. Um.. My own personal insights to myself to hopefully help you have personal insights to you yourselves so that we could all become ourselves again today we decided to go to the beach. That's where I wanted to do. Yesterday. I was like maybe I'll go to the beach and then I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna go to the beach tomorrow. But then I was like, you know what? If I wake up at four in the morning, maybe I'll think about going to the beach for a sunrise and lo and behold, I fucking woke up at four in the morning and I was sitting there and I smoked the bt and I was like, I don't want to go back to bed. And I looked at how much weed I had left, and then I was like, I calculated how much I would have to smoke in order to make myself go back to sleep. And I said, you know what? Why don't I just go for that skateboard ride? I went for the skateboard ride. It was very tiring. I realized why I don't go to reasoning behind why. I don't go for the skateboard rides in the morning. It's too cold. It's fine. I'm moved out of a cold place. 60 is apparently too cold for me. It was like 59 or whatever, but. It's too cold.. It makes my lungs cramp up, which then leads to an asthma attack because the air outside is colder than the air inside of my body. And when the two are exchanging with each other, it creates this slight tension, which creates uncomfortability, which then creates a larger tension, which then creates a cramp, which then creates an asthma attack and I just have a way more asthma attacks than I normally do after not skateboarding for a while and then skateboarding in warm weather, like a warm environment. And I did today, so I hadn't skated in a while. And it's pretty typical for me to have, like, an asthma attack once after I don't skate for a while. But, um the fact that it was chilly made it just so much worse. I have to work on that, like, heat exchange rate, I guess. Um. But yeah, it was kind of gassed, so I went and I sat at the pier, and as I was walking down to the pier, the wave just seemed to catch my eyes. I was just like zoned out into them in a good way, like the fact that some waves were seemingly on like different planes than others just because they had so much energy compared to the other waves that they were just traveling over each other. And then there were interfering waves and I could get into all the different kinds of waves I was trying to like explain it to myself of like, whoa, these fucking waves are cool, but it was just. awesome. Like, the actual word, meaning of it, fucking awesome. And they had like the pink and purple sky from the fucking sunrise, bouncing off of the water and the colors cascading through the waves, dude, I was fucking like, whoa. I't need to smoke no weed. I've been trying to quit fucking nicotine, and you know what, man? I had that transcendental wakening all by myself. That's what I keep telling people whenever they're like, yeah, man, I had such an awakening on mushrooms and I'm like, I'm not going to do that because I knew that I could do this on my own and I did it. And it's been done now and I've been doing it multiple times and this was just the most recent time, and this was the best time. This was the time that I've been marching forward through, through all of time, and I had fucking grabbed my own hand back, and then we were like, let's do this shit. We're rushing into the future where I look like an old lady. Not really. It's just when I had visions of the future, my grandmother was the one watching me and when I saw my future self, I looked like my grandmother. So I was like, that can't be me. That's Nana. And I was like, what? It doesn't really matter when you get that old. They all start to look the same. Everybody starts to look the same once they reach a past a certain age. We all kind of pug out. wasn't expecting that from myself. Sorry. But yeah, we all kind of pug out after a certain age, start getting kind of fucking, and you just got to accept it and how much you accept it is like how transcendental you'll be able to have that in awakening, man.Cause like, if you accept it, you'll pug out eventually, then you can take the time that you know that you're attractive and enjoy it now, which is the time that I'm in, but I'm not enjoying it because I'm so fucking distracted by so many different kinds of things because I knew that I needed to get to this point, that I needed to have my awakening so that I could convey these things, so other people that feel like they need to do drugs in order to have an awakening can have an actual solid voice speaking to them and saying, nah, did smoke a lot of weed, though? So, like, maybe that kind of negates my purpose, but weed isn't that psychoactive once you kind of get a tolerance to marijuana. It feels like a coffee.. It doesn't feel like anything crazy and the crazy stuff, that comes from like weed when you're super low tolerance is actually like hypoxia in your body, like almost passing out. So then you start to experience a bunch of weird stuff, like getting couch lock. That's your body experiencing a form of like CO2 poisoning so you get fucking rigor and you get temporarily, um sort of paralyzed, but like not really because your body is it needs to process out all of that extra smoke that you just inhaled. And if you're in a smoky environment, that's the kind of thing that would, you know, if you had a CO2 leak in your house, that would be the kind of effect of CO2 poisoning that makes it dangerous. But since you don't have a CO2 leak in your house and the CO2 leak is coming from your fucking bong pipe, it's a pretty cool, controlled dose of CO2 poisoning, but I always felt like there were ghosts or something in my house, some kind of weird fucking energy in my house that was making everybody insane. And I was trying to tell everybody that there's something wrong here. Like, you guys are not thinking clearly, you're all going crazy. There's something here. And I don't like it. Oh, and I totally believed in, like energy and all that kinds of stuff. I was like, man, there's some kind of weird energy in here. But in years and years and years later, after everybody had already moved out, My dad decided he was like, now is the time to fix the house. Let's, whatever. Fine. But when he did that, waiting fucking 20 years to do that, he found a hole. It's been in our chimney, probably for like, since these fucking houses built. Not not really, because the house is like from fucking 1862 somewhere roundabouts there. it's probably been there since we moved in, bro. It probably was there since, like, the last tents were there, and probably was the reason why they wanted to move out and felt the house was like, there's something wrong with it. We've got to move along. Dude, there was a fucking CO2 leak in the chimney, entire time, so, like, when we turned on the heat in the winter time, it would fill the house with CO2, and then everybody would go crazy. And then I was like, there's ghosts in the house and nobody wants to believe in an unseen gas affecting people's moods so then they dismiss it and nobody ever does the fucking due diligence until the wall starts to sag because of how much fucking exhaust is like behind it. So like one of the walls started to sag in the house and it started to sag when I was little, and I was like, that's weird. That wall's poking out and everybody's told me to ignore it. And then it got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse over the years to the point where I was like, I've been told to ignore it. I'm ignoring it. And I moved out, and I was like, I'm not, I can't deal with this fucking... haunted house anymore. There was other haunted house shit going on, too, so... And then, fucking years later, he got the chimney done, and he was like, I wonder why that wall is sagging. So he fucking took the wall out, and it turns out the wall was sagging because. the chimney behind it was putting in a lot of, like, gas and moisture into the wall, and it was a horse hair wall, so it was making the fucking thatch or whatever fucking fall apart. The horse here and thatch fall apart.. Yeah, now, this is really what I wanted to talk about. It just kind of came out. I guess that's part of a transcendental awakeakening. Um, I do have to slow it down, though, 'cause I feel as low as I'm talking a little bit too fast for you. Who cares? Um. What was I gonna talk about? I have stuff to talk about, like, real cool, fucking awesome shit. I'm not going to my fucking notes. do do do do do How was your weekend? Typ it down in the comments. How was your? She Dave and so far, chief.. I'll type back, like, I don't know, something else, fucking know. Oh, yeah, oh. Yeah, okay, that's a pretty good thing to talk about. So I asked the beach that I actually fell. Totally forgot. I could have just looked at my skinned knee, but that just, uh... I guess that just shows how much I want to get it right without knowing how to do it. A home. So focused on, like, all of the notes and the data that I'm trying to fucking comagulate, that I'm not looking at the actual, like, things that reminded me and made me think of wanting to record a podcast in the first place. one of which being like I fell. Speaking of, like, energy and stuff, sometimes I can feel like an energy in my hands and I can control it. I could control when it tingles and the intensity of the tingle. And sometimes I' going like, make them hot. And I don't know how to make them cold, I I guess you don't make them cold. You just stop making them hot. That's the only way. I figured out how to make them cold. Maybe I could. Nah, 'cause the reversal of energy, like the reverversing of it feels like it will hurt. It feels like my. I'm rude. I'm fake slowly figuring out. I'm pretty interconnected with my automatic nervous system. So when I say something like I'm trying to reverse the flow of the tingle so it's no longer like tingling outwards but tingling inwards, and then my body's telling me, don't do that because it'll cause pain. I'm trying to listen to my body now. It's telling me that's that's unusual and don't don't send the signal that way. So that must not be how you create cold or maybe it is, but I'm not an endotherm. I'm an I'm not an ectotherm, I'm an endotherm, so I don't need to. I don't fucking know. Anyways, it fell off my skateboard. Um, and my hand slaps the ground real hard, and then I was sitting for a minute, and I was like, "Yo, it feels like my hand's like fucking cut up right now. Oh, man, this isn't.. This isn't what I want to be doing right now, so that's why it's not working. I'm trying to blame it on, like, I'm creating too much stuff to think about, but it's truly just not what I want to be doing right now. I actually want to be editing another one that I made. And I guess that's really distracting me. I guess that's part of the transcendentalness of it all. Things are fluid changing all the time. Just a drop in the ocean. But yeah, I fell in, the story of how I fell was actually kind of funny, because they were street cleaning. And then, I was feeling it that the road was a little bit slippery after they were street cleaning, but I was like, I can overcompensate and also use this as a good time to practice board maneuverability and I was you know, kind of sweaving along, but then my board fish tailed, and I was like, buck. I couldn't catch it. So then I was like, just keep running. And I kept running and the board went out from underneath me. these ladies were walking by. and they were like, oh, wow, that was impressive. I would have died if that happened to me. And I was like... I didn't even know how to respond. I was like, you, have some bad energy right there, Chief. There's some bad mojo you just put on me, dog. how to response, I was like, well, yeah, they must cleaned the road. So I didn't know, I guess it made it more slippery re. And then I was like, have a good day. And then I skated along, and I was like, fucking 50 feet away from them and the fucking fish tail happened again, and I fucking fell again, but this shit was so funny to me. I just started laughing home, and like, I scraped my knee and shit and I slammed against the ground, but I bounced. Don't you don't always bounce.. And even when you bounce, like you're still taking damage. Like, you're still hitting the fucking ground. You're not a bouncy ball. You're not loofy, you're not made to rubber. Maybe I might be. Oh, you're not.. I'm rubber and here, glue, and you say bounces off a mean sticks to you. Anyways, I was giggling about this shit. Getting up, and I was laughing at myself, and there's some one guy saw me, and he was laughing, too, 'cause the whole shit was just fucking funny. He saw me fall fucking twice. I think everybody was kind of having the feeling of like, oh, we all just thought that that kid sucks at skateboarding. So then he fell and everybody was kind of like, fucking the absurdity of it just me is so hilarious. And that guy was smiling and laughing and he was like, good morning. And I was like, good morning. Let's. It's a fucking great morning now. And that's the kind of energy that you get in the morning. I notice that there's a big difference in the morning energy than there is in night energy, or like even afternoon energy. But like I said, I want to wait for it to warm up so I can breathe fine and normal. But then there's just, like, a lot of people with a lot of different unpredictable, different kinds of energies. And then even the people crossing through with unpredictable kinds of energies. The energies, like stays in the area after the person's crossed through, like footprints in the sand. And arees like a path of energy that if I come in contact with it, I have to fucking diminisister or interact whatever. I can't ignore it. It's like vis not visual, but like, a sensory perception to me. That sometimes causes pain. Which is why I can't ignore it, because it feels like parts of my nerves, like get that uncomfortable feeling. Like, I was just talking about from the biofeback. Yeah, my biofeedback loop. You can work on your bio feedback. It's not like I'm bragging about something. I'm bragging about it so that I can introduce you to the concept. And sometimes if you introduce people to the concept through bragging, it makes them a little bit more interesting 'cause they think the fucking trait is cool, in reality, you're just tricking them into helping themselves, which I think is what they're doing. me. I had another realization at the beach. I was like, fuck, what if I'm getting anger management right now? Like, not like how you get anger management, like, how they did it in that Adam Sandler movie. Um Because I was like sitting there. and I had another asthma attack. I needed to take a break. And I paused my music. said I had to headphones in and I paused my music. And I sat down, but I sat down like in front of this cafe and I felt a little awkward about it, but I needed to sit. There's nothing else I could do about it. And I like took my hoodie and I started breathing into it because of the fucking temperature thing. And it was also getting to be too bright, like the something happened in my body where the asthma attack created like. So I guess, when you have asthma, your body doesn't produce like beta adrenaline or something like that, so my body uses actual adrenaline and having actual adrenaline running through my body to counteract the asthma attack. creates a lot of anxiety. So.. everything was bright and overwhelming. I had to put my face in the hoodie and warm up my breath and calm down and cool down. And I sat there for a few minutes, but then when a ladies, they were like talking, but I was trying to ignore them. Also, like, I was breathing pretty heavy, so I couldn't hear very well. And also I had headphones in, but then one of them was like, yeah, he smokes a lot. So like this is just normal. And I was just like, I took a I took a headphone out and I was like, come on. What kind of fucking shadow government shit is happening right now? What the fuck? I'm not a fucking dummy, you guys. Come on. I'm trying to fucking play along with the system. Can you guys play along with the system, too, and fucking not talk about the guy while he's around? Fuck! It's number one rule of the system. Come on, you're not supposed to fucking talk about the guy while he's around because he can hear you. That was number one rule. And they thought, because you have headphones that he can't hear you, but. Nope, nope, nope. They were paused. Um. People would be. I like it when people break the rules, so I guess that's fine. I don't want the rule, like, really integrated that well, and I don't know where the rule is established, so, like, I don't know who I'm talking to about the rule or what the rule may be.. But yeah, dude, I feel like I'm being anger man's been right now 'cause I started fucking therapy, and this shit started getting, like, intensely more. Like it got it was like a bunch of shit that kind of felt orchestrated to kind of push me into therapy, and now that we're in therapy, some of the shit that happened like came about again, like for confirmation. And I got the evidence and I showed him in therapy. She's like, why does it even matter? And I was like. It might be... There was this symbolism. There's a lot of stuff going on, man. I'm trying not to read Young's man and his symbolism because I have a feeling in myself that as soon as I read this book, it's going to change something. A point in time will change, and that book is a change in point in time. And when I read it, it will change everything thereafter. force, hence fororth. So I kind of don't want to read the book yet. I'm kind of like waiting on that one. I'm like, I'll keep gleaning the knowledge from the book, from my future self. But eventually I'll read it later. Um. But it's getting to the point that I don't have the structure to organize the data, so I actually do kind of need to read the book now. I can no longer keep cleaning it from energetical sources. I gotta fucking actually build a structure in my brain and stop using energy. all the time. That's so crazy. But, yeah, yeah, I guess so. Can't, uh... So, what happens is you have, like, incoming energy, and when there's not a structure to's, like, put that energy in, you don't understand it, and it can be overwhelming until the point at what you build a structure to then contain that energy, to then understand it. I know that young man in his symbolisms has a structure in understanding that I need, but I'm trying to build that structure and understanding. Before I go to someplace that has it so that I can know that I can build it for myself. same thing with like mushrooms, dude. Like, that's the same reason why I've been avoiding taking those, because you can just. That's a thing that you can do for yourself, and everybody thinks that it's a thing that the mushrooms are doing for them. And I'm trying to tell them all. Well, yeah, that's just a natural part of being human. The mushrooms are just interacting with your human network in a way that it causes a spontaneous reorganization, but your body can do that by itself on its own, given the proper circumstances. But then again, I have endured a lot of emotional tumult so maybe people don't want to go through that. But, like, you gotta, you gotta do what you gotta do, man.Cause if you if you're never upset or if you're upset for like the wrong reasons or if you are going around upsetting other people, because you're upset, you know, you got to figure some shit out, man. I'm figuring some shit out, but that's also why I you lock. I'm in that fucking movie bro now. And that's also why I limit what kind of movies I watch 'c the kind of movies that I watch are really influential on my subconscious, and I don't know that. So I'm gonna end up living out subconscious storylines. And all of this is a roundabout way to say, what time is it? Fucking 23 minutes. Yeah, all right, whatever. I think this has been a good fucking little chat. getting tired. I want to do all this shit. I not really hitting base with what I wanted to talk about. I'm not really feeling the current of my my current right now. You know what I'm saying? My energetical source that which provides me with data and information is, somehow.. interfered with at this moment in time. I don't know how or what or to which for that for now and what have you probably because of the adrenaline. Adrenaline does that. makes you run too fast. had to use the inhaler a lot. My body's running fast right now. I want to smoke nicotine and weed and what I'm doing instead of doing that, is fucking recording a little b b podcast.. Speaking of that whole structure and then things filling and falling into it, you know, it's really insane. I' watched the movie, the Phoenician scheme for a while. I haven't gotten around to it, been wanting to do it, haven't gotten around to it. Only lately have I gotten really comfortable with the idea of being a.. Again. Um, so I'm trying not to whistle too loud, but also I want to whistle quietly at to pervade that which the knowledge of the thing that I have and I'm conveying it and that I'm not saying it directly. But yeah, I used to be real okay with that when I was younger because I was born I didn't have no money, but then I started doing fucking work in high school and then I have money. So then I was like, I'm okay with paying for this stuff. And then now I'm all like, you know what?. So I was like, I'm gonna watch it." But then a few, like, right after I had this kind of, like, moment of awakening, a few days ago, um an intrusive image popped into my mind of a drop of water, returning to an ocean And I could I could control how long it took for the drop of water to fall and I could I could influence how turbulent the ocean was or how calm and placid it could be and this was like an intrusive thought that I had. it provided me with great peace and if you've ever seen the Phoenician scheme, you know that it is a symbolism device within the movie at certain points in the movie. I'm trying not to give spoilers, but that just seems to stand for me that I had gleaned something that was then going to encounter the structure that would support it. I had a glean of information that then I encountered the structure that supported that information and then made me feel even better about it. But the drop interfered my mind. before the movie did. It, uh you know, it makes my mind a very quiet place. I like it. It's just a very. empty world. And the only thing that exists is the drop. And then drop and then it's drop it, and then it's dropping, and then it hits something, and then you realize that there's water everywhere. and then it's kind of these waves emanate out from the drop. And if you slow it down, and if you look really close, as you drop the drop, you realize that more drops, it's a fractal pattern, split it from the drop in each drop is in the drop in of itself, splitting off from itself only to return back to the source Once again, it all just started all the information just started organizing itself and I was like fuck yeah. This is the fucking moment in time. I've been fucking running towards my entire life. I hope that you can have a moment like that anyways, keep it easy and uh, fuck out